Ignoring royal protocol...
M/M and Alpha/Omega Romance for People Who Care About the Thread Count of the Sheets Being Ruined

MARLOWE Kent

Bespoke suits. Biting banter. Catastrophic lapses in judgment.

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"The last thing he expects is for a sharp-tongued journalist to defend him. The last thing he wants is to fancy said journalist something rotten."

— The Proper Gander
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The Stories

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The Proper Gander
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The Proper Gander

A sarcastic royal omega. A working-class alpha journalist. Palace intrigue.

Thomas, the Duke of Clarence, has spent twenty-two years perfecting the art of royal omega compliance. But when his mortifyingly candid teenage diaries are leaked to the tabloids, his sexual naïveté becomes front-page entertainment. Harry Da Costa built his reputation skewering the press—now he finds himself doing something unprecedented: defending a royal.

Start from Chapter One
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Coming Soon

The Structural Elegance of Longing

A deaf property developer. A pining CEO. A houseplant with survivor's guilt.

They've spent three years dancing around each other in boardrooms and corner offices, communicating purely in passive-aggressive memos and lingering stares. But when a hostile takeover threatens everything they've built, the fragile boundaries between professional hostility and personal desperation begin to collapse spectacularly.

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"Between clandestine meetings in a Holland Park flat and late-night conversations over questionable takeaway, an unlikely partnership blooms into something far more dangerous—genuine connection."

— Royal Protocol Violations

The Author

Marlowe Kent writes M/M and Alpha/Omega romance about emotionally constipated men in expensive suits who would rather die than say what they mean. The suits are always described in detail. The feelings take considerably longer.

Her work explores the intersection of high-stakes environments and devastating interpersonal vulnerability. Expect impeccable tailoring, catastrophic yearning, and dialogue sharp enough to draw blood.

She currently resides in London, where she spends entirely too much time researching corporate procurement and worrying about formatting.

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r/RoyalGossipUK
The completely unofficial, entirely unsanctioned discussion forum for British royal watchers, constitutional pedants, and people who know far too much about the Line of Succession.
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r/RoyalGossipUK

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MEGATHREAD The Duke of Clarence Diary Leaks — All Discussion Here
As excerpts from the Duke’s teenage diaries continue to be published, please keep all discussion, speculation, and memes confined to this megathread. Any posts violating Rule 3 (No Doxxing Charity Shop Workers) will be removed. We have added temporary flairs. Be civil or be banned.
24.1k
HOT Genuinely cannot cope with the idea that a grown adult with a private education thought “equestrian terminology” was just equestrian terminology. My thirteen-year-old niece would have clocked it.
I keep rereading the excerpt and I physically cannot tell if this is the funniest or the saddest thing I’ve ever read. He was SO earnest about correcting the riding technique. The man was providing NOTES. I am on the floor.
18.7k
DISCUSSION Can we actually talk about how messed up it is that nobody told him anything? He was a teenager and every adult in his life just... let him stay confused?
Everyone’s laughing at the excerpts but I keep thinking about the bits where he’s asking direct questions and getting non-answers. His school assigned him a “support worker” who apparently supported him with precisely nothing. The adults failed him spectacularly and now we’re all pointing and laughing at the result.
15.3k
OPINION Harry Da Costa is the only media figure handling this with any decency and it’s genuinely surprising
His latest podcast episode was basically a 40-minute defence of why publishing someone’s teenage diaries without consent is ethically indefensible, regardless of their tax bracket. The man built his career dismantling the royals and now he’s out here being their most articulate defender. Character development no one predicted.
12.8k
SATIRE POV: You are a 40-year-old widowed duke who has just discovered that cars do not, in fact, stop for you automatically [OC]
I made this animation of a very confused panda in a Savile Row suit attempting to cross the road while a protection officer has a cardiac event in the background. Before anyone reports me: I say this with LOVE. The man is a national treasure who must be protected at all costs. Possibly with bubble wrap.
11.4k
DISCUSSION The diary leaks are actually a really damning indictment of how we treat omega education in this country. Hear me out.
If a boy from one of the wealthiest, most connected families in Britain could reach adulthood without understanding basic biology about his own designation, what does that tell us about the state of omega education for everyone else? I work in secondary education and I can confirm the curriculum is still woefully inadequate.
9.2k
DRAMA Prince Augustus just changed his Instagram bio to “professional panda wrangler” and the Palace PR team are reportedly in shambles
Screenshot attached before it inevitably gets taken down. Also his latest story is just a Tufty Club road safety video with no caption. That family’s group chat must be absolutely unhinged. The King is definitely confiscating phones at the next state dinner.
8.6k
RUMOUR My mate works at a certain kebab shop in W8 and says a very recognisable omega has been coming in at odd hours looking “suspiciously content”
I know this sounds like absolute fanfiction but apparently he orders the same thing every time, pays in cash, and always looks like he’s just come from somewhere he doesn’t want photographed leaving. My mate says he’s always polite but radiates the energy of a man who has recently discovered happiness and doesn’t quite know what to do with it. Make of that what you will.
7.1k
BREAKING The Sun publishing further diary excerpts tomorrow. Palace legal team has apparently gone through four espresso machines this week.
According to my source (take with appropriate salt), the next batch covers the engagement period and it’s reportedly even more revealing than the equestrian incident. Jenkins has apparently not slept in three days and Winters has developed a visible eye twitch.
6.4k
DISCUSSION Not a single person in this discourse is talking about the fact that his horse won. THIRTY-SEVEN blue ribbons. The man is an elite equestrian and we are all making innuendo jokes instead.
Galaxy took home the blue ribbon. That’s what really matters, and frankly that’s the only correct takeaway from any of this. Justice for Galaxy. Justice for the Duke’s showjumping career that was sidelined for “dynastic obligations.”
5.9k
OPINION The real scandal isn’t the diaries. It’s that an omega was expected to walk two steps behind his alpha for twenty years and we all just... watched and clapped.
Watching the youth centre footage back and counting the number of times the King physically repositions his own father. The “protective alpha” framing the press uses is doing A LOT of heavy lifting. That’s not protection. That’s choreography. And the flowers he painted? The man has a THREE THOUSAND SQUARE FOOT studio. He chose to paint daisies because daisies are “appropriate.”
Click anywhere or press Escape to return to what you were actually doing.